Parent's Manual
Currently enrolled Parent-Tot Families are required to read all of the following
and confirm consent by signing our main copy at The Parsonage. Any questions should
be directed to the playgroup coordinator at
parenttot theparsonage.info
Updated September 21, 2007
In general, when Bellevue Schools are closed, we will not have Parent-Tot on that
day. Bellevue is a huge school district so we feel that when they make the decision
to close for the day, weather conditions warrant that action. You can check Bellevue
Schools online at: http://www.schoolreport.org/
Our primary intention for this program is to provide:
- A safe and beautiful place for our young children to explore and play
- An introduction to Waldorf classroom space, rhythm and group activities
- A community for families with young children and parents with similar educational
goals for our children
- A place to experience Waldorf methods with children
- Parent Education
Program Content
Unlike some programs, which emphasize parents and teachers coaching children through
various activities, Parent-Tot at The Parsonage parents are encouraged to practice
the art of "Waldorf Parenting," following the model of Waldorf Early Childhood Education.
The playgroup leaders will guide parents and children in and out of activities with
song and gesture, and strive to limit interruptions of children’s play with verbal
instructions or loud adult conversation as much as possible (this includes direct
questions, instructions, or otherwise interrupting and distracting children’s focused
play with talking). Activities are initiated by parents and children may be inclined
to join in or continue to free play as comes naturally to them.
Adult Conversation
For many parents, this introduction to Waldorf methods may be quiet different from
other programs in that parents are asked to be mindful of how much and how loudly
they are talking while remaining available to their children. Children have the
opportunity to check in and out with their parents while learning to do their most
important work of play with each other. In this culture, where constant talking
to young children and interrupting their play is considered "attentive," many parents
find this exercise extremely worthwhile and interesting, if not challenging! Likewise,
please be mindful of your conversation with other adults during the class. When
parents are talking too loudly or quickly, the children’s energy and play is affected
and even disrupted.
Wholefood, Organic Snacks
Parents are asked to bring a piece of fruit or a vegetable (that can be served raw)
to share each week. Please bring organic, whole foods such as apples, bananas, carrots
and these will be served with the bread rolls that the children have shaped in the
morning along with other healthy snacks. Water and herbal tea will also be served.
We set our snack table together as a group, and also tidy our table together when
finished.
Toddler Behavior
Toddler children are learning about the world through their entire bodies. Quite
often, one toddler will hurt another, either unintentionally or in seeking attention.
It is our job as parents to model the appropriate behavior, to re-direct children
(physically) to appropriate activities (for instance, leading your child by the
hand to something interesting across the room), and to keep each others’ children
safe. We also need to be mindful of the fact that the toddler is all "will" and
possesses very little "impulse control." For this reason, anger and shaming are
not constructive responses to toddler behavior.
In addition, we ask that you treat our home as you would your own – children may
not jump from the couches, play with our lamps or climb unsafely on the play stands
etc. We ask your help in gently redirecting this behavior in the first few weeks
so that the actions are stopped before they begin. We will have plenty of time for
large motor skills behavior outside, where it is appropriate.
If you have specific questions about your child or another child’s actions within
the class, please discuss this at an appropriate time with your group leader. Children
who repeatedly hurt or intimidate others (e.g., biting, scratching, pushing down,
etc.) may be asked to leave the class until they are older and more ready for playgroup.
Please note that verbal instructions to toddlers are often less effective than physically
redirecting while humming or singing. For example, please avoid using the words
"don’t," "no," etc. as the children tend only to hear the verb, which reinforces
the action. Further, children this age are physically incapable of following verbal
instructions once their impulses have set them toward and object or action! Your
playgroup leader can help direct you to Waldorf resources and suggestions on how
to redirect specific undesirable behavior.
Toddler Participation
It is common for young children to stay very close to parents during the first several
weeks of class. Shyness and caution are normal and healthy responses to the new
environment. You may be surprised how toddlers who hardly noticed each other or
carefully avoided interaction with each other at the beginning of the session have
become comfortable with the space and other families to the point where they are
actually playing with each other by the end of the third month! Children who would
not leave our laps for the first few classes learn to be at home and even play without
their parent/guardian during the times for parent discussions. Children may feel
self-conscious and be awakened from their play should they overhear adult subject
matter. Many Waldorf teachers will not discuss a child in front of the child.
Please note also that the crafts presented are primarily for the parents (with special
seasonal exceptions). Our playgroup children are not discouraged from imitating
the craft activities, be we do not ask them to sit or use fine motor skills that
are more appropriately introduced in kindergarten.
Song
You may notice that the playgroup leader will lead the activities of the day with
simple songs. The young child learns most naturally through song and movement. And
important aspect of Waldorf pedagogy is the coordination of gesture with music during
transitions, rather than verbal instructions. Simple songs which accompany making
the bread, cleaning up the toys, etc., often become favorites at home as well. Please
follow the playgroup leader’s lead by helping children to transition between activities
through song and gesture rather than verbal directives.
Guests
Grandparents, relatives and adult friends are welcome to visit class with prior
notice. We encourage guests to join in with the class and participate in each activity.
As a courtesy to others, please ask permission of every playgroup members as well
as the playgroup leader, before taking any pictures during playgroup.
Grabbing Toys, Taking Turns, Should Parents Intervene?
Yes. It is a common misconception that parents should encourage their toddler to
"be nice" or "just let her have it honey" when another child grabs something away.
We all understand that a toddler often cannot control his or her impulse to "have"
something and yet is part of our job as parents to protect all children.
It is extremely important for all of the children in the class to experience consistent
redirection of grabbing from all adults in the class. These simple "rules" have
proven to work well:
A child is not allowed to grab a toy/object from another.
When a child grabs/takes away something from another child, it is promptly and gently
returned to the first child by the nearest adult with the words: "Zan is playing
with this and it is still his turn. It will be Janna’s turn next." Please remember
to speak in the positive, explaining what will happen, rather than emphasizing and
reinforcing the behavior you are trying to correct. "We take turns," "we share nicely,"
are phrases that slowly educate the toddler into understanding the concept of waiting
his/her turn.
The "grabbing" child is gently redirected to something interesting a suitable distance
away.
If the child really wants the object (can remember that he/she wants if three minutes
later) then the adult might offer a decoy/replacement/trade or watch so that when
the first toddler drops the toy, the adult can pick it up and very graciously model
"now it is Janna’s turn to play with this! Thank you Zan for taking turns. Thank
you Sally for waiting for your turn."
Often a child will become upset when he/she is not allowed to take away an object
from another. It is important to remain calm, but firm, and support the child’s
frustration and outbursts, by holding the child, or walking with the child to a
quiet place outside the classroom where he/she can calm down. Our back room with
the diaper changer is the perfect room for such a break.
Should your little one be inconsolable it is not unreasonable for you to want to
leave the group for the day and try again next week. Such an exit is stressful on
both parent and child. Of course it is up to you as the parent/guardian, but we
strongly suggest staying for the whole two hours, even if you and your child move
outdoors to play and wait for the rest of the group to join you. We want you both
to enjoy your time with us and want your little one eager to join us each week.
Leaving early while in an upset state can create unresolved emotions that are left
hanging until they are picked right-up again the next week. If possible, leave on
a positive note. The leaders can help model calm for you should this happen, and
assist you in redirecting the energy.
Safety
You the parent /guardian are responsible for your child while you are visiting the
playgroup. The Parsonage is child friendly but not entirely child "proof" by choice.
Please keep close watch of your child both indoors and out. The Parsonage owners,
playgroup leaders and /or playgroup coordinator are not liable for injuries that
occur during Parent-Tot at The Parsonage. Playgroup Leaders are not authorized to
administer first aid or medication to Parent-Tot children, so please be prepared
to attend to your child at all times during the playgroup. It will be of the utmost
importance, to the playgroups leaders that your child be well cared for and any
injuries resolved.
Injuries
Several First Aid Kits are available for use at The Parsonage. Rescue Remedy and
eye wash are easily available for your use. Your playgroup leader will help you
if need arises.
Illness
Please take a moment to consider your child and how she/he is feeling before bringing
her/him to play each week. A child who is overly tired or feverish will find the
class too strenuous and should remain at home. Our main concern is keeping down
the vicious cycle of spreading and re-infecting, so please make your decisions responsibly.
Missed Classes
If you need to miss a class due to illness or otherwise, there is no make-up available
on other days of the weeks. This policy is in the best interest of the children.
We have found that it is too stressful for a child to come into a seemingly familiar
environment, yet encounter unfamiliar children and parents. If you miss a class
and would like to know what was discussed, please call your playgroup leader. If
class is canceled for any reason (snow, illness) every reasonable attempt will be
made to schedule a make-up class.
You need not call to let your group leaders know you will not be coming on any given
day, however we do always want to know if you need to be gone more then one week.
Just a quick call or email would be so greatly appreciated. If your little one is
indeed sick, a note of what they have might be a nice heads-up for the other parents
in the group, and would be appreciated as well.
Communication
The playgroup leaders are available for discussion of class content or for your
questions during class or outside of class by appointment. If you have questions
that are not answered in the course of the class, you may arrange for an in-person
(before or after group) or telephone conversation. If you have a question that is
important, emotional or possibly controversial, we request that you not use email.
A person to person conversation can clear-up most issues, while email can so often
complicate matters.
In addition, should a conversation become "heated" for any reason, the playgroup
leader will redirect the conversation immediately. These conversations may continue
off our property after our group has adjourned, but may not continue in the presence
of children at The Parsonage. The playgroup leader has the right (and responsibility)
to redirect adult conflict to later be resolved in a space without children present.
Should that not be possible, the playgroup leader has the right (and responsibility)
to remove the offending parent. This is not said or done lightly as the needs of
the entire group and safety of the children are of utmost importance. All playgroup
families have entrusted their safety for our time together to The Parsonage, and
that trust is always taken very seriously. The Parsonage LLC holds the right to
bar anyone from the property should the need arise. That said, we actually have
the loveliest group of parents who would never dream of offending another family
– yet it must be stated clearly none the less.
Your playgroup leaders are capable and experienced volunteers. To be a playgroup
leader they have proven themselves to be reliable and knowledgeable. They can help
you problem solve with many issues and can be wonderful resources to you and your
child.
However, if your question or issue is indeed emotional or controversial, please
contact the Parent-Tot at The Parsonage coordinator directly: parenttottheparsonage.info
One more word on communication: we can only improve what we know needs improvement.
Please keep us involved on your experience with our group so we might help with
issues before they become problems. The groups require your input and involvement
to make them their very best.
Diaper Station
The diaper changing station is in our back room. When the diaper station is in use,
please wait your turn or use your own mat and change diapers on a washable surface
(not our carpet). If needed, we have towels you may borrow. The towel on the diaper
changer is fresh each group. It’s large so it can be folded and re-folded for multiple
uses through-out our two hours. If you would like a fresh towel please let your
leader know.
Refund Policy
Your initial deposit ($350) is non refundable. Pro-rated discounts are available
after the first month of the session. There is no refund for individual classes
that you miss. This is a policy based on the best interests of the children. We
seek to provide a steady and secure environment and a stream of comings and goings
with different families attending each week is disorienting to the young children.
It often takes children several weeks of consistent attendance before they feel
comfortable and secure. Children who have that consistency often have a "breakthrough"
around the fourth week where they truly take hold of the circle material. If you
are tempted to withdraw from class in the first two weeks because it doesn’t seem
like your child is responding, we encourage you to give it time. If you are unsure
about remaining in class, we encourage you to talk with the play group leader so
that she can help you assess your particular situation.
Clothing
The Parent-Tot playgroup classes are places of active work and play where sometimes
an hour is spent outside. Living the beautiful Pacific Northwest we often contend
with rain – in all its forms. To allow the child to experience nature and the elements
in an enjoyable, open way, clothing is extremely important. We go outside to play
every week regardless of weather.
The children are asked to wear a hat in warm as well as cold weather, so please
try to find one that your child likes and will wear happily.
We have a variety of boots should you need to borrow them for the day. Our little
stream has a habit of getting feet very wet!
It might be helpful to plan to have these items with you (in your car at least)
each week:
- one pair of plain, comfortable inside shoes/slippers
- one extra pair of socks
- one warm hat and one sun hat
- one pair of waterproof mittens
- one large rain coat/parka with hood or rubber hat
- one pair of rain boots
- one pair of rain pants
Media
Through our work we have noted how commercial television, or movie images printed
on T-Shirts and other items affect the imaginative play of little children. Because
we try to provide as beautiful and as tranquil an environment as possible, we ask
you to refrain from bringing your child to playgroup with any logos, cartoon characters,
writing or other "media" on their clothing.
We also respectfully ask you to refrain from speaking of television shows or other
such "media" and that you turn your ringer off (or down if off is not possible)
on your phone. Please receive calls outside so as not to redirect the energy of
the group.
We don’t have television, computers, phone service or even a doorbell at The Parsonage.
It is our intent to keep is a safe haven from media and intrusions and we appreciate
your help in this.
Lost and Found
Because The Parsonage is home to other groups in addition to Parent-Tot groups,
we will put any lost Parent-Tot items on the shelf of the diaper changing station.
The Greater Waldorf Community
Parent-Tot at The Parsonage has a wonderful relationship with Three Cedars School in Bellevue
We participate in many of their festivals, attend as a group the Winter Crafts Fair,
buy a table for and donate to their annual auction, happily participate in class
picture day at a huge discount to us, and completely create and run the much loved
fish pond at the annual Spring Faire. You are welcome to attend any of the excellent
TCS parenting lectures and can best follow all of the above by receiving the Weekly
Waldorf News – Three Cedars School weekly newsletter. To receive the online letter
(that often has interested articles as well) please call Three Cedars school at
425-401-9874, tell them you are a part of Parent-Tot at The Parsonage and would
like to receive the WWN.
School tours of Three Cedars School are held 2 Thursdays a month and you may reserve
your spot by calling the same number above. You are encouraged to take this tour
regardless of your intention to educate your children at this school. The tour is,
quiet simply, the best explanation of Waldorf education to begin your journey. It
is followed by a tea-time for asking questions of the Executive Director of the
school. Three Cedars School serves Kindergarten to Eighth grade. Please consider
the tour early in the year.
Thank you for taking the time to read this handbook. Any questions or comments can
be directed to
parenttottheparsonage.info
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